This is such a great time of paring down, of resolutions and goals, of deciding what is important to me and what isn't. There have been so many things I am interested in over the years and I used to give myself shit for not following through on all of them. Ridiculous. Of course some things seem interesting and turn out, once I have actually tried doing them, to not be my cup of tea! How else would I know than to try?
But certain things have remained constant, and I am excited to dedicate this year to clearing out unwanted things to make room for those. Recently read Marie Kondo's excellent book on the "Art of Tidying" and man, did that speak to me loudly. So exciting to feel a kindred soul and, more exciting, have actions I can take based on that ah-HA moment. I so love to tidy. Not clean, mind you, I'm actually kind of terrible about that (she says writing a blog entry rather than taking care of the sink full of dirty dishes, two (at least?) loads of laundry, un-swept and un-vacuumed floors, and... and... and...), but I do so love to throw out unnecessary stuff, rearrange necessary stuff, find new uses for things and proper homes for things.
I also love yoga. I have tried to make a regular practice of it for years and, while the reasons I have not are varied (though all boil down to, "I just didn't, OK??"), part of it has been not just letting myself fall in love with it and engage in it from that perspective. Also reading the incomparable Liz Gilbert's book "Big Magic" (stop reading this and go get that) and she talks about staying with her writing through rejections and no money and day jobs, etc. And she says the trick was, she told herself she loved it. All the various aspects of it, she decided to say she loved, and she told everyone else so, too. It made so much sense to me. Like, a crazy amount of sense. I feel like that's exactly what I need to do in order to create and maintain a practice of yoga (as opposed to an "on again off again" affair).
I love yoga. I love the chewed up old mat I have owned for years that wasn't a great mat to begin with. I love the youtube channels I follow for it that feature girls fully 100 pounds lighter than I. I love their insane leggings (rainbow zebra print with reflective material? That's what we're doing now??). I love doing a 25 minute gentle practice and still feeling tired and sweaty at the end. I love the insane stretch in my hamstrings when I am in downward dog with my heels nowhere near the ground. I love the sense of quiet it gives me, even with a toddler running around, his toys all over the place, yoga instructor on TV yapping away, music playing from my phone... Somehow, there's a stillness anyway - what is that?? Besides fantastic? I love that I walk differently, better, after only a couple of days back on the mat. I love how much more aware of my stomach muscles I am (even if I do keep asking myself, "Could I be pregnant or something???" Universe, please hear this loud and clear - that was NOT a request!! Love you more than my life, my son, but Daddy and I are white-knuckle clinging to the fact that we still outnumber you tiny people). I love saying my affirmation to myself at the end, hands pressed together in prayer, head bowed in peace and humility, fully believing in the love. All the love. For all the things.
So what else can we say we love so that we do it? What else can I do with my current situation of limited funds, limited alone time (hello toddler!), and limited space (apartment living!)? What else is a, "Hell yeah!" not an, "I suppose I should..."? What else do I love?
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